Meditation Journal 10/25/08

Yesterday was an interesting day. I missed my morning session. I did not place any blame or punished myself, but I did find myself in a funk of laziness for much of the day. I attempted to continue functioning throughout the day but I could tell there was a difference in my attitude and approach to daily situations. I also missed my yoga session. I think all a part of my start. It is important to provide balance, stability and mindfulness to daily routines. When an important elements are removed from the routine. The whole day seems to fall apart.

My 3pm meditation was cut short, because of mental distractions. I sat for meditation and I was not as comfortable as I wanted to be. I began the practice and I became distracted several times and my mind seems to wonder more than usual. I also began to make excuses about why I was unable to concentrate and how I need to find more focus before I begin a session. It is so funny, because I did not realize that this was my own mind play tricks on me. The mind is that powerful. I got pimped by my own mind. LOL! After 10 minutes I got up.

Introspect:

Just as every deliberate action takes a conscious decision, I must make the decision to remain faithful to my practice. Even if there are events that change my time schedule, I must adjust and continue moving forward in my day. Like a train: If a train is off of its tracks, movement forward is possible, but it will be slow, barely controllable, and consume a tremendous amount of energy. Once the train is placed back on track, it will continue its journey as it should.

All of my issues during meditation are normal, but my mind and ego fight against the journey and new direction. Our mentality sinks into our habits and builds defenses. Anything attempting to modify or change these behaviors is met with resistance. The old adage reminds me that "anything worth having is worth fighting for." Salvation, enlightenment, and happiness are worth it.